The silent pressure to ‘Be Okay’: Why it’s okay not to be okay
Let’s be real; how often do you respond with “I’m fine” even when you’re not?
For many of us, “I’m okay” has become a default answer. Not because everything is truly fine,
but because we feel pressure to hold it together at work, at home, in relationships, and even in
faith communities. There’s an unspoken expectation to keep showing up, smiling, and staying
strong, even when your world feels heavy.
But here’s the truth: it’s okay not to be okay.
The weight of pretending
Pretending to be okay can feel like emotional survival, especially when:
• You’re the “strong friend” who everyone depends on
• You’re a parent, leader, or caregiver who feels the need to stay composed
• You’ve been taught that vulnerability is weakness
But constantly bottling up your feelings can lead to emotional exhaustion, anxiety, burnout, and
disconnection from your true self.
Why we struggle to be honest about our pain
Many people fear that admitting they’re struggling will:
• Make them a burden
• Be seen as a sign of weakness
• Disappoint others
• Disqualify them spiritually or professionally
These are deep, internalized beliefs but they are not true. Being honest about your emotional
state is actually one of the bravest things you can do.
Steps to Begin Letting Go of the Pressure
1. Acknowledge your truth
Start by admitting it to yourself: “I’m not okay right now.” That alone can be freeing.
2. Choose who you open up to
You don’t owe everyone your story, but you do deserve to share it with someone safe; a friend,
mentor, or therapist.
3. Give yourself permission to pause
Rest. Cry. Sit with your feelings. Take a break. You don’t have to earn your rest by being perfect.
4. Reach out for help
Therapy is not a last resort; it’s a safe place to unpack what you’ve been carrying in silence.
A Loving Reminder
You are human, not a robot. You’re allowed to feel, to struggle, to not have it all figured out. And
you’re still worthy of love, rest, and healing.
There’s no need to suffer in silence or pretend to be okay when you’re not. Let’s normalize
honesty, softness, and asking for help. We see you, and we’re here to support you.