Most engaged couples in Lagos are planning everything except the one thing that matters most after the wedding day.
The venue is booked. The caterer is confirmed. The asoebi has been chosen. Everyone around you is focused on making the day perfect. However, very few people are asking the question that actually determines whether the marriage works.
Are you both prepared for what comes after?
Premarital group classes are one of the most practical and often most overlooked ways to prepare for marriage. Not because they are new, but because most people do not fully understand what they involve, what they offer, or whether they are the right fit.
This post answers all of that. Clearly, honestly, and in a way that helps you make the decision that is right for you and your partner.
1. What premarital group classes actually are
A premarital group class is a structured programme where multiple engaged couples come together, guided by a trained facilitator, to prepare for marriage as a group.
Unlike individual premarital counselling, which is a private one-on-one process between a couple and their therapist, group classes bring several couples into the same learning environment. Each couple still works through their own relationship. However, they do so alongside others who are in the same season of life.
Sessions are typically structured around specific topics. Communication. Finances. Conflict resolution. Intimacy. Family dynamics. Roles and expectations. Each session builds on the last, so by the end of the programme, couples have covered the most important foundations of a healthy marriage in a systematic way.
At Shelistens Therapy and Consulting, our premarital group classes are designed specifically for engaged couples in Lagos who want to go into marriage equipped, not just excited.
2. How a typical session works
Walking into a group class for the first time can feel intimidating, especially if you are not sure what to expect. Because of that, understanding the format beforehand makes a significant difference.
Sessions are typically held in a comfortable, professional setting. The facilitator introduces the topic for the session and opens with a brief teaching or discussion point. Couples are then guided through exercises, conversations, and reflections, sometimes as a couple privately, and sometimes as part of a wider group discussion.
Importantly, nobody is required to share anything they are not comfortable sharing. The group setting is not a confessional. It is a learning environment. What you choose to discuss privately as a couple stays between you. What gets shared in the group is voluntary and facilitated carefully to maintain respect and confidentiality.
Furthermore, the group dynamic itself adds something that individual sessions cannot replicate. Hearing other couples wrestle with the same questions you are wrestling with is both validating and illuminating. Because it reminds you that the things you are navigating are not unique to you. They are part of the human experience of building a shared life.
3. The topics covered go deeper than most couples expect
Many couples sign up for premarital classes expecting a surface-level checklist of marriage advice. What they encounter is often much more substantial than that.
Good premarital group classes do not just tell you to communicate better. They show you how, in practical terms, using your actual relationship as the working material.
Topics typically covered include how to have difficult conversations without damaging each other, how to manage money as a unit when two people have different financial habits and histories, how to navigate extended family involvement without losing your marriage in the process, how to understand each other’s love languages and emotional needs, and how to build a shared vision for the life you are creating together.
Consequently, couples who complete a structured premarital programme do not just leave with information. They leave with a shared language, a set of tools, and a deeper understanding of each other that most couples only develop years into marriage, often after significant conflict.
4. Who premarital group classes are best suited for
Group classes are not for everyone. Understanding who they suit best helps you decide whether this format is right for your relationship.
They are an excellent fit for couples who are engaged and within twelve months of their wedding date. They work particularly well for couples who want marriage preparation but prefer a more interactive, community-based learning experience over a purely private setting. They also suit couples who are budget-conscious, since group classes are generally more affordable than ongoing individual premarital sessions while still covering the same essential content.
Additionally, group classes are ideal for couples who want to normalise the preparation process. Because doing it alongside other couples removes the sense that seeking help means something is wrong. It reframes preparation as a communal value rather than a private admission.
However, if a couple is navigating a specific issue that requires confidential, focused attention, such as a history of infidelity, significant trust damage, or deep personal wounds from childhood or past relationships, individual premarital counselling is likely the better starting point. Both formats can complement each other. In fact, many couples do both.
5. The benefits that go beyond what you learn in the room
One of the things couples consistently report after completing a premarital group class is that the benefit does not stay in the session. It travels home with them.
Because the topics covered in class tend to spark conversations that couples then continue privately. You leave a session on finances and suddenly you are having the money conversation you have been avoiding for two years. You sit through a session on communication styles and you finally understand why certain conversations between you always seem to go sideways.
The class becomes a catalyst. It creates openings for dialogue that couples would not naturally have found on their own, at least not without significant conflict first.
Moreover, the relationships formed with other couples in the group can become a source of community and support beyond the class itself. Because marriage is not meant to be done in isolation. And starting married life already connected to other couples who are committed to building healthy relationships is a resource that many people underestimate until they need it.
6. How to know if you are ready to sign up
There is no perfect time to start premarital classes. However, starting earlier in your engagement is almost always better than starting close to the wedding date.
When you begin too close to the wedding, the focus tends to shift toward logistics and excitement rather than genuine preparation. Furthermore, if something significant comes up in a session, you want to have enough time to work through it properly rather than rushing past it because the wedding is three weeks away.
A good rule of thumb is to begin your premarital programme at least three to six months before your wedding date. This gives you enough time to go through the full programme, process what comes up, and enter your marriage with genuine clarity rather than unresolved questions.
At Shelistens Therapy and Consulting, our premarital group classes run in cohorts, meaning spaces are limited and fill up ahead of each intake. Because of that, registering early is always the right move.
To find out when the next cohort opens and to reserve your place, visit shelistenstherapy.com or send a message on WhatsApp to 0802 991 1256.
Final thoughts
The wedding is one day. A beautiful, meaningful, unforgettable day. However, the marriage is the thousands of ordinary days that follow. The days when nobody is watching. The days when life is hard and love has to be a choice rather than a feeling.
Premarital group classes do not guarantee a perfect marriage. Nothing does. However, they give you and your partner the tools, the language, and the shared foundation to face those ordinary days with far more confidence than most couples carry into their first year.
Because walking into marriage prepared is not a lack of faith in your love. It is one of the most profound expressions of it.
You have invested in the wedding. Now invest in the marriage.